Dead Baby Jokes

The Riddler wrote:"What has four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon and three at night?"
- "Man, it crawls on all four when its a baby, walks upright in its prime and then uses a cane."
- "Close, but the real answer is a baby. It first crawls on all four, then only uses its hands when you cut both its legs and then you watch it stumble around with a cane!"
-"How can you laugh at something this horrible?"
-"Simple, its not MY baby."

What is funnier than a pile of dead babies?
The live one at the bottom trying to claw its way out!

What is funnier than that?
Putting him back at the bottom of the pile when he finally gets out.

What is funnier than five babies nailed to a tree?
One baby nailed to five trees.

What is funnier than a dead baby in a trash can?
A trash can in a dead baby.

What is funnier than a baby enjoying a "merry-go-round" ride?
Stopping him with a shovel.

What's small and red in a corner?
A baby playing with a knife.

What's small and green in a corner?
Same baby after three months.

What is small, all bloody but charming?
A baby with a razor blade.

What is charming, has two antennas and hits every walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.

What's cute, small, red and taps on a window?
A baby in a microwave.

Whats small, cute, red and spins really fast?
A baby in a mixer.

How do you get him out?
With a straw.

How many babies does it take to repaint a wall?
Depends how you throw them.

What starts small, cute and pink and ends up green and bubbly?
A baby in a vat of acid.

What has four legs and an arm?
A pit-bull in a kindergarten.

What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby?
The taste.

What's the difference between a black baby an a white baby?
Cooking time.

What's the difference between a cart full of hay and a cart full of dead babies?
None, you can empty both of them with a pitchfork.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

A kid went to see his dad and said: "I don't want to sleep next to my brother anymore."
- "I already told you that we don't have enough money for the burial!"

A father and his son were hard at work when the kid asked: "Why is grand-father so cold?"
- "Shut up and dig."

A mother and her daughter were having dinner when the young girl exclaimed: "I don't like daddy!"
- "Fine, but at least eat your vegetables."

"Mommy, mommy! I found daddy in the garden!"
- "I thought I told you to stop digging!"

A young girl to her mother: "Can I play with grand-ma?"
- "Okay, but it's the last time I open the coffin."

A mother to her kid: "Stop running in circles ... I said stop! ... You stop now or I nail your other foot!"

A young girl was found dead in the middle of the street. The guard asks the medic: "Was she raped?"
The medic answers: "Not yet, I was waiting for your permission."

What does a blonde do when her baby's bath water is too hot?
She wears gloves.